Channel Ascension

Episode 64: Gird Your Loins, Seriously!

Listening to Adele at work may cause you to cut off your sexual organs and leap out of a 2 story window! Just kidding! Tune in to hear us discuss why you shouldn't listen to Adele at work (or ever), and many other topics -- including a cupcake tour that Ari recently went on! Yum!

Drink of the Week

Ghostbuster
1 oz. Captain Morgan's Parrot Bay Coconut Rum
1 oz. Skyy Vodka
4 oz. Simply limeade

Shaken with ice and strain into a martini glass with a sugar rim.  

Episode 63: America Ain't Sh-t

In this episode we talk about why we want to move to France, how we feel about the woolly mammoth coming back to life, and the stages of watching a new TV show.

Drink of the week:

Spring Fling
1 lime, cut in wedges, optional
Kosher salt, optional
1 cup ruby red grapefruit juice
1/2 cup freshly squeezed lime juice (4 limes)
1 cup orange liqueur, such a Triple Sec
2 cups ice
1 cup white tequila   
1  teaspoon almond extract 

  
Mix together and pour over ice.

Episode 62: I Spy With My Big Eyes

We've got a new format! Listen as we discuss some of this week's current events; we share some new things that we learned - after sex selfies, and why men like women with big eye, and we air out some of our grievances during the "Grinds Our Gears" segment!

Drink of the Week

Bug Eyes

• 1 cup sugar
• 2 cups grated English cucumber (about 1 cucumber), plus cucumber wedges, for garnish
• 9 ounces vodka, chilled
• 12 ounces cranberry juice (no sugar added)
• 1/2 cup fresh lime juice (from about 4 limes)
• Ice, for serving

DIRECTIONS

1. STEP 1

   Bring sugar and 1 cup water to a boil in a small pot. Reduce heat, and simmer, stirring until sugar dissolves. Remove from heat, stir in grated cucumber, and let cool. Pour through a fine sieve into a bowl or large glass measuring cup, and discard solids (you should have 2 cups syrup). Cucumber syrup can be refrigerated up to 3 days.

2. STEP 2

   Combine cucumber syrup, vodka, and cranberry and lime juices in a 2-quart pitcher. Cocktail can be refrigerated up to 8 hours. Serve over ice, and garnish with cucumber wedges.

Episode 61: The Right Appitude

In this episode, we talk about apps that will do just about ANYTHING you want, why women aren't men, and what everyone needs to expect when they visit New York City. 

Drink of the Week

The Out-of-Towner

2 oz tequila

1 oz grand marnier
5 ozs fresh grapefruit soda
1/2 oz lime juice

lime wheel, and orange wedge for garnish

Fill the glass with ice and add the tequila, grand mariner and lime juice

Top it off with grapefruit soda.

garnish with lime wheel, and orange wedge

Episode 60: Where the Hell is My Package, Bawse?!

On this week's episode Ari and Deeds talk about Ikea, Pi(e) Day, Kat Cole Da Bawse, why we hate the post office online dating and more! Tune in!

Drink of the Week 

I'm Bossy

5 cups seltzer

4 cups bourbon

2 cups fresh lemon juice (from about 16 lemons)

2 cups sparkling apple juice

1 cup Simple Syrup

3/4 cup amaretto or other almond-flavored liqueur

Ice cubes

Garnish: lemon slices and Maraschino cherries

Combine seltzer, bourbon, juices, simple syrup, and amaretto in a punch bowl. Fill with ice. Garnish with lemon slices and cherries.

Episode 59: Dream On

In this episode we talk about the explosion in East Harlem, the wonderful world of petstagram, and why your dreams may be crazy.
Drink of the week:

Sweet Dreams

750 ml of white rum
½ bottle of merlot
7 oz. lime
5 oz. triple sec
7 oz. simple syrup
2 limes sliced into wheels
2 blood oranges sliced into wheels
Quarter bottle of brandy

Mix all ingredients in a punch bowl and leave in the refrigerator for at least two hours, but preferably overnight.

Episode 58: Is Beauty Skin Deep?

We're back with a brand new episode for dat a$$! Tune in as we discuss religion, women's history month, beauty tips, and the fetishization of Lupita Nyong'o!

Drink of the Week

MBDTF (My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy)

Ingredients
1 slice of orange, about 1/2 inch thick
1 slice of lemon, about 1 inch thick
12 mint leaves
1/4 ounce gin
1/4 ounce Cointreau
Chilled sparkling wine

In a shaker, muddle citrus slices, mint, gin, and Cointreau. Shake vigorously with ice. Strain into a 6-ounce cocktail glass or Champagne flute.
Top up with chilled bubbly. Garnish with mint leaves if desired.

Episode 57: Friends Over Hoes

In today's episode we chat about how awesome Reddit is, Pharrell's phenomenal new album, and if you can truly be friends with a, ahem, hoe. 

Drink of the week:

That Cocktail Over There (TCOT)

1 green tea bag

6 ounces hot water

12 ounces rum

6 ounces cognac

1 1/2 ounces maraschino liqueur

1 1/2 ounces peach liqueur

3 ounces freshly squeezed lemon juice from about 3 lemons

3 ounces simple syrup (see note above)

1 (750 milliliter) bottle chilled Prosecco

 Citrus slices and raspberries for garnish

1. Steep the green tea bag in the hot water for 10 minutes, then remove and allow the tea to cool. Combine the green tea with rum, cognac, maraschino liqueur, peach liqueur, lemon juice, and simple syrup. Cover and chill in the refrigerator for at least 2 and up to 6 hours.

2. Pour mixture into ice filled punch bowl or pitcher and top with prosecco. Garnish with citrus slices and raspberries. Serve in glasses filled with ice.

Episode 56: Much Funny Such Show Wow

On this week's episode we chat about House of Cards season 2; spoiler alerts and what the appropriate amount of time is to wait before discussing a show; new crypto currency - Dodgecoin; and why we have our best thoughts in the shower!

Drink of the Week

Much Tasty

1 8-ounce can diced sweet potatoes in light syrup

2 ounces spiced rum

1 egg  1/2 ounce maple syrup, preferably grade B

Whipped cream, slightly sweetened

1 cinnamon stick, or pinch ground cinnamon, for garnish  

Preparation  1.  Empty the can of sweet potatoes, including syrup, into a blender. Purée.  2.  In a cocktail shaker, combine 2 heaping teaspoons of the purée with the rum, egg and maple syrup. Shake vigorously without ice. Half-fill shaker with ice and shake again. Strain mixture into a cocktail glass or coupe. Top with a dollop of whipped cream. Grate cinnamon stick over the top, or dust with ground cinnamon.

Episode 55: That Damn White Horse

In today's episode, we get into the travesty that is the future (hopefully not) Zimmerman fight. Also Philip Seymour Hoffman's death and the resurgence of heroin. Plus, what's going on in Sochi, Russia??

Drink of the week:

Hot Pot 

2 ounces Flor de Caña 7-year-old rum
1/2 ounce Godiva Milk Chocolate Liqueur
Thin slice of habañero chili, optional
Dash of cinnamon
2 teaspoons brown sugar
2 ounces milk
Whipped cream
Grated pistachio, for garnish

1. Add the rum, chocolate liqueur, milk, habañero chili (if using), cinnamon, and sugar to a small pot. Simmer on medium-low heat until hot.
2. Pour into a glass or mug, and garnish with whipped cream and grated pistachios.